Yahoo CEO Jerry Yang announced his departure yesterday in a fluffy memo to his employees. The reader’s guide:

the board of directors and I have agreed to initiate a succession process for the ceo role of yahoo!.

The board got its head out of its ass long enough to fire me. Given their track record, I’m as shocked as you are.

once a successor is named, i will return to my previous role as chief yahoo and continue to serve as a director on the board.

Once a successor is named, I will return to complete irrelevance and hopefully crawl under a very large rock.

we have created a more open, competitive yahoo! and we believe the time is now right to transition to a new ceo who can take the company to the next level.

Zeus have mercy on the poor sod who comes in to fix the mess I’ve made.

the fact remains that yahoo! is now a significantly different company

Since, you know, I erased $30 billion in shareholder value by rejecting the Microsoft deal and then drove a hundred and twenty-five of my top executives to quit.

that is stronger in many ways than it was just 18 months ago.

And by “stronger”, I mean “more colorfully fucked”.

while this step will be an adjustment for all of us

I’ll be adjusting to golf, you’ll be adjusting to unemployment.

i will continue to do everything i can to make yahoo! fulfill its full potential.

So long, suckers.